At the last family reunion, my sister ripped me up one side and down the other about deeply emotional things and was very harmful. I have not healed yet from it. She told me I had ruined my relationship with Dad. I had not kept my promises, and stopped being honest with him and refused to communicate. He had died 2 years earlier, so there is no repair. More importantly, there is no forgiveness.
A thought popped in my head less than a minute ago.
If these things about my Dad are true, then I am fucking pissed that he didn't have the balls to come to me about it. I called. I wrote letters. Not once did he lament a loss to me. The fact that I did not visit physically does not at all mean we did not communicate.
If these things are not true, then I am fucking pissed at my sister for being a liar about me and my Dad.
Either way, I have lost a member of my blood. I have gained myself by realizing it.
My truth is the truth. Don't try to describe the ocean if you've never seen it.
There is a Jimmy Buffet line for everything.
Rhetorical questions...Did your sister actually speak to your father? Did he tell her these things and not you? If so, you are justified in being pissed at him. Is your sister a habitual liar? Is there a dynamic to your relationship your not acknowledging? Again no need to respond to me. These are just questions I'd ask myself in this situation.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll be stealing that Jimmy Buffet line.