I took the boys shopping for Arin's birthday tonight. I had one of those "we have to go home NOW" moments which is usually caused by just being at Walmart. I thought nothing of it and we headed home. I was getting ready to turn on our street, when I noticed a light blue car with its hazards on. Usually when I see that and are not in a position for helping a break down, I think "Sucks. Hope someone can help" but this time I slowed down. The train was coming near and the noise startled a huge and still young red tail hawk that was obviously wounded on the bike trail along Atlanta Road. I said "He's trying to help and we are too", pulled into the parking lot on the corner. I pulled out my phone and called Arin. Here's where we are. Here's what's going on. Call Hugh now and find out the best way to handle this. The hawk freaked out trying desperately to fly across the road. Traffic slammed on it's breaks and let it pass. The first young man and I planned. He called animal control. I told them I had Hugh on alert. Arin drove down with his CERT kit. Patch and I approached slow and low to discourage her going back into the street. More people stopped. Locals came from the doors. She scooted away from us into a vacant lot. Much better a vacant lot than so close to the busy road. First man went to get a plastic kennel at his house. An older couple gave us a fleece packing blanket for better protection than the old towels that we had, and all the phone numbers for Chattahoochee Nature center and the Dep't of Natural Resources. Another young couple stopped- she works with non raptor exotics. Patrick became nervous when he saw the beak and talons close up and opted out of the rescue. The boys walked to Jackie's house, I made a myriad of phone calls to find aid and rehab, while Arin and 7 strangers who never got around to introducing themselves waited for the bird to relax enough to tighten the ring, drape her, then corral her. I gave my cards to folks so we could give reports on this strange bonding of people we might not ever see again. We were able to take our momentary guest to the Cobb Emergency Veterinary Clinic on Cobb Parkway. They already had another hawk from earlier. I hope she can be returned to the wild. All of us strangers are from the same general area. We are all used to seeing the hawks fly above our homes. We do not know each other, but in her way, that bird knows us all. I'll miss her until she is better.

The boys got to stay up late tonight and go with us to the vet clinic. It's a unique opportunity and they go to see it through to the end of our ability. Arin told them to remember all those people who stopped to lend a hand. They saw there was need and took time out of their days to help when they didn't have to for the betterment of something other than themselves. That's the kind of thing heroes do.

You know what? We're that kind of people too.

that which is not accepable

My work consists of telling people why they are wrong.
I have to tell people no and give them bad news.
Good customer service consists of spending as little time as possible with people.
I produce nothing.
I am accountable for things that I am not supposed to review.
As a government employee, I can not defend when racial or religious slurs are said to me. Nor can I defend myself when some one is aggressive verbally. Nor can I say a thing to the man who slaps his infant in front of me and yells "no hitting" when the 1 year old was just waving his arms around. As a government employee, I have to hold my tongue when the mother in front of me calls their toddler stupid and useless.

In the first few weeks, I had compassion and an eagerness to make sure paperwork was in order for the benefit of the customer. This is not necessarily office policy.
Go call your insurance company. I'll be over here eating paint.
I try to focus on the notable people of the day. I met a man today who is doing what I would love to be doing- restoring historic buildings. I met a man who was so moved by the wonder of seeing his own child in an ultrasound, he is near graduating with his MA degree so he can share that experience with others daily as a tech. I have to focus on these people. It's these few that my gut tells me to chat with that get me through. I come home and leave everything at the office. That part is easy because I am nothing there. I know myself so well now. I am reassured in my knowing. I am looking to reviving.
On Monday, I had a moment when I was arguing with a customer about his due date. The expiration is on the bill twice. It's not my problem if you wife did not read it. Something popped in my heart/ brain connection. I actually heard it- like when a tendon is torn from bone. I could see the whitish connective band frayed and ricocheting in my mind's eye. I had become the grey of a government employee. I put Black 47's 'James Connolly' on repeat in my car-
"It's better to die like a man on you feet than like a slave bound in chains-"
I searched out that man's restoration business when I got home today. We all have asked at what point is enough enough? Why, when we decide it is, my love. That which is not acceptable can only be for so long. I need more because I am more.

rant of the day

Suppose you are allergic to seafood. You are at a restaurant and ask the waiter what he recommends. He says the shrimp scampi. Knowing what your needs are, knowing what is unacceptable to you, you order the veal Parmesan.

To say you have to accept the current society, the now environment, the status quo-
that Hollywood and Madison Avenue dictate what we do and how we view ourselves is irresponsible bullshit. To believe that means you do not know yourself and are too weak minded to stand up. It means you deserve the psycho-emotional anaphylaxia you put yourself through.
Know thyself and to thine own self be true-