Relaxation for me does not involve being still. Relaxation comes from the satisfaction of a hard day's work. I'm not meant to sit still. Ideas come to me when I mow the lawn. I find clarity in stacking the woodpile. Sweat and peace are equals. Quiet mediation comes to me only after the hard climb up a waterfall. After patching the roof, digging in the yard, cleaning the garage, I am sticky, stinky, and filthy. Then I shower. The water sloughs off heavy thoughts that are now on the surface of my dirty skin. It leaves behind comfort and pride. I watch the darkness of the water swirl in the tub and down the drain. It feels like victory. I feel like I have endured something and come out a better person on the other side. I have proven my strength to myself and then blessed myself- rain to wash me clean. Dirt on the outside is not the problem. Its the stuff on the inside.
I cry to wash it out. It's not enough. Give me tools, a goal, and the time alone to finish it.
I have earned my rest. My mind is clean of it's sown dirt. And I can be who I know I am.
Sweat, and dirt are my path to beauty.
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