one yard of me

I remembered to wear my apron today.

My mom had a huge assortment of pretty aprons. My favorite was a ruffly red one. Her's seemed only decorative- much to delicate for the rough hand wiping of a kitchen. There were affectations of the feminine persona.
Aunt Mary and Uncle Mel had given me a simple apron when I was about 12. I wore it every time I made bread in my adult years until I gave it to my son once he started helping in the kitchen. I had out grown it. The cord was too short, and the waist tie was just under my bust. It did not occur to me to get or make another. In my struggle to obtain womanhood,(I did not see myself as a girl; more like female guy- the word for adult men, but quite men. Women don't have a good word for that) a few friends and I rediscovered those feminine affectations. I now have 9 hats and I wear them as often as possible. I have gloves from crocheted lace to opera, which I also wear often. I have silk neck scarves. I felt like a woman, and a respectable one, while out and about. Now for at home too. I found a cute little blue gingham apron at the town rummage sale in Talking Rock, GA for $2. There is a pin-upesque woman on it with an unattached full skirt. When you flip up the skirt, you see her matching panties. I washed it, pressed it, hung it in the closet and promptly forgot about it.
How very embarrassing. I was making dinner today. I found myself wiping my hand on my shirttail. I wish I had a apron. Oh wait- I do! And my little lady was around my waist. I felt even more at home in my kitchen. I want more of them, not as a matter of costume, but as a necessity to being more at home.

Blue SIlk

I'm a huge fan of silk. I'm an even bigger fan of not paying full price for it. I have spent so much time working with fabrics that I can spot 100% and blends almost every time. I shop at Good Will. I run my fingers along the packed racks and can pull out 100% silk shirts for $3. Sometimes they are even in my size. If they are not, I have now awe of brand names, so I have no trouble at all with the idea of cutting apart a linen, silk, or wool garment to reclaim the fabric for other uses. It makes me feel very resourceful.
As luck would have it, a found a dark blue silk suit with lovely embroidered details on the jacket hem. I wore it to church on Sunday. I wore it with matching shoes, and the proper foundation wear and lingerie. I wore a black wool cloche hat. I wore white crocheted lace gloves and carried a clutch purse. I've dressed like when I was in my 20's. I have a drawer with elbow length gloves. I always wore full garters, fancy shoes, and I had few hats. I wore it because it was fun, like playing dress up.
I did not expect (nor realize until later) that today I felt so much better about myself . I wasn't dressed to the nine's since it was church, but it was my current Sunday best.
I felt strong. I felt like I was right. I felt like I had the authority to tell the girls in backless mini dresses that they were absolutely inappropriate for church. At least wear a shawl or little jacket. Even in front of their mom's who let them wear them.
I felt intelligent. I was positive that every one knew that I didn't have to rely on sex to get by- that I had know how, skills and the strength to make things happen- all with out having to show as much skin as possible. Tiny clothes mean a tiny mind. The wonderful thing about that is minds can grow. Your butt is no longer the only interesting thing about you. Your cleavage is not your resume'.
My absolute favorite part of dressing well and feeling well was four out of eight of my tattoos were clearly visible. All but one are behind me. I'm a different person coming and going. I've always been a fan of being a variation on a theme.

There might be an emotional point between recognizing my inner power and a superiority complex. If there is, it'll show itself. Until then, lead by example